I would like to share a very good ressource which has been very helpful during my PhD thesis redaction.
It is the book from Jean Luc Doumont, called Trees, maps, and theorems Effective communication for rational minds
(We have one in the lab, somewhere…):
It addresses not only the redaction but also oral presentation, layout and data visualisation. You do not even have to read the whole book, there is an online and free access to the essential content and ideas here:
http://www.nature.com/scitable/ebooks/english-communication-for-scientists-14053993/contents
You can also find some extracted pages on the book’s website:
http://www.treesmapsandtheorems.com/X0300.php
http://www.principiae.be/pdfs/UGent-X-003-slideshow.pdf
I really recommend everyone in the lab to read these few pages. It is just a bunch of simples rules which will guide you through redaction of well structured and intelligible papers. So just do it.
PS: You can find also great talks of him over youtube. He is also a \TeX and alignment Nazi ^^